She is very self-directed and gets really absorbed in her own projects, but it can be hard to get her to engage in things if she doesn't immediately find them easy.

Signed, Frustrated

Advice

Dear Frustrated,

First off this is normal for most children. It is not bad thing, they just need to learn to push through and keep working on things that are difficult.

The best thing to do is to be honest with her. You can tell her, "Some things come naturally to you and some things take more time and effort. I understand it can be frustrating or annoying but everyone has things that are hard for them. It does not mean we give up or neglect those things, we have to work hard and practice to get better." Emphasize to your child that it does not mean they are dumb or stupid it simply means that it is something they need to keep working on. Use an example of something they have already learned to reinforce this concept: Remember when it was difficult to tie your shoes, but now you can do it.

I also recommend watching the TED talk on Grit, and the TED talk on Growth Mindset versus Fixed Mindset. Each are very helpful. Experts focus a lot of their research on your exact question! The key is to help your child understand it is normal for some things to take more effort. Encourage them to persevere and reassure them that they can do it. Some things just come more naturally but you cannot just do what's easy in life. It doesn't work that way.

Keep up the hard work,

Maria

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