This week instead of answering questions sent in by parents, we want to share a message our Children's House Lead Guides shared with parents on Monday morning after a weekend of nationwide protests.
In light of the very socially charged time we are in, I feel moved to share some ideas on how to talk to your children about uncomfortable subjects such as race, protests, and inequity. We don't shy away from any topic in the classroom, but since we aren't in the classroom together, I don't feel able to truly dive into this discussion with your children as I normally would. What I can offer instead is support for you on how to approach these very important topics at home with your children.
Many of us were brought up to be “color blind”, to not “see” race, or to outright ignore someone’s skin color in an effort to equalize. When we resist discussing race with our kids, we teach our children to be color-silent. Silence about race often reinforces racism. Though no one is ‘born racist’, we are all born into a country based on systemic racism, and it’s been shown that young children DO indeed notice race (as early as six months old!) and often have many questions as they attempt to make sense of their world. While we might not always know what to say, we can reflect tolerance, understanding and empathy. Don't be afraid to discuss and celebrate diversity, applauding our beautiful differences and our similarities. Our differences are part of our identity, so be careful not to overlook the value and beauty of our differences when talking about skin color with children!
When discussing race with kids, it's important to be concrete. Skin color is determined by how much melanin you have in your body. Someone with darker skin has more melanin, but it's something we all have inside. Focus on the unfairness of racism, work to highlight peaceful resistance and the work of allies.
When discussing protests, be true and brief. A protest happens when people disagree with something and feel the need to speak out about it. Many protests are peaceful gatherings of people who are seeking justice. People who protest are called 'protestors'. Protests are also a way to speak up for people who are less able to speak up for themselves.
Here is a quick listen from NPR about how to discuss race with your kids. It's 20 minutes long and well worth the listen!
Angela Davis said, "In a racist society, it is not enough to be non-racist. We must be anti-racist." Like many other white people, I have recently become aware of my own implicit bias, and the need to commit (and re-commit daily) to continued Anti-bias/Anti-Racist (or “ABAR”) work. As an educator and ally for people of color, it is of utmost importance to me to continue doing this work with the children, especially during this time when “social distancing” rules so much of our lives. I imagine many in our community may feel a pressing need to educate and organize around peaceful resistance. You can read up on anti-racist training with these books: Me and White Supremacy by Layla Saad, and How to Be An Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi.
Our staff is working together to compile a comprehensive list of child-centered resources for our community on this topic. Be on the lookout for more on this from us in the coming weeks, and in the meantime, please don’t hesitate to reach out to any member of our amazing staff--for further support or guidance as you navigate these challenging and emotionally charged topics!
That said, we want to stress that it's perfectly fine to table a topic for another time if you don't know what to say in the moment (ex: "That’s a great question! Let's look for some books and learn about it together.") We feel it's critical to educate ourselves and our children on ways to dismantle and disrupt racism in our community, and to model for our children that we ourselves are also continuing to grow in this department. Let's be allies together!
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To submit questions, please email admin@littleoakmontessori subject line “Dear Maria.”
* If we did not answer your question this week, will answer it in a future newsletter.